QUEEN LIZ 2.0 PLANS TO FRACK A BIG ONE IN HER BACKYARD
Trump and Tillerson to attend gala state dinner in preparation for the massive frack job. Teresa May arranged the official royal dinner for the two parties. “I enjoyed meeting Mr. Trump in Washington,” Ms. May told the Times, “He’s a bit incoherent at times, but a lot of fun really when he has his little moments of lucidity.”
She added,”And Mr. Tillerson certainly knows a lot about fracking in one’s backyard, so what could possibly go wrong here amongst the rose bushes ?”
Liz 2.0 Plots with Trump to Frack a Big One at Frackingham Palace
The Queen has given her royal seal of approval to a state visit by Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Donald Trump in order to assist her Highness in fracking the grounds of Buckingham Palace. Mr. Tillerson pointed out: “If there’s one thing I know something about, it’s fracking in your own backyard !” He added, “President Trump is a huge fan of fracking in all its various forms. He’s been married three times, you know.”
Huge sections of the historic 40-acre gardens will be ripped up for vital exploratory work. Exxon drilling rigs have been spotted on the lush estate in preparation for Trump’s visit. The drilling foreman, who would only give his name as ‘Bubba from San Antonio’ told the Times: “We’re going to frack this sucker like a state fair goat.”
The Queen has been given planning consent to drill and frack for shale gas. It is thought Prince Harry held final secret talks with Exxon’s Tillerson to close the deal.
Asked about meeting the Queen at the upcoming state dinner, Trump nodded, making a face, “I like Queen, they were one my favorite groups once, and . . . they say she was a real 10 once, with nice natural . . . parts. . .when she was young, like a lot of them, take my daughter for instance. . . England is our friend, Terri May is my friend, a good friend . . .she’s from England where my mother was from in Scotland. . . where I have a golf course, the best golf course ever, which I own . . . and there’s a sea wall . . . . to keep out the global warming from China.”
Fracking could reduce rocketing utility bills that cost the royals up to £3.1million a year A palace source said: “Prince Charles is very much looking forward to meeting Melania. He’s a great admirer of classical sculpture, you know.” The un-named source nodded conspiratorially, “The Prince is quietly very much in favor of Trump’s throwing the wogs, nig-nogs, and fuzzy-wuzzies out of America and not letting any more in. . . “
Asked about the up-coming exclusive royal state visit, the Current Mrs. Trump told the Times,”The Queen is queen of England and I am queen of America, so we be friends for sure don’t you know. The Donald his mother born Scotland like me Slovenia in England don’t you know for sure. Barron is be there for sure too.”
Fracking — pumping water and chemicals into shale rock to flush out gas — could inject billions into the British economy and create thousands of jobs. Or so Secretary Tillerson and Exxon say. But locals fear a large increase in traffic at the Queen’s London residence.
Green campaigner Avril Fuel, 20, said: “I regret this decision, bitterly. Fracking is damaging to communities, health and society. And Trump is, of course, totally bonkers !”
However, the Palace source insisted: “It will be a great boost to the economy. And Mr. Trump’s mother was from Scotland which is part of Britain, thanks very much.”
Queen/Trump/Exxon Frackingham frack job plans by numbers:
9 acres– drilling rig is set to be erected at the site of the former rose garden
30,000ft – depth miners will drill down to with their picks and drills
2500 – trips by massive lorries to and from Palace every day, 24/7/365
.1% – revenue goes to Royals if shale is discovered on the site
250 - photo ops with Queen and Trump
Melinda Hardin says
Hilarious! Good work, Chip!
This one wrote itself
She does what she’s told
He does whatever he can get away with
Cute couple